how i tried to join a FF league

Last night Jim went to work, but left his fantasy football page logged in on my computer. All season I've been watching the games. I almost hate to say it (except I really don't at all) that I've found out that I actually like football. I know. Judge me. Say what you want. I don't give a shit. But what I like more than football is the concept of FANTASY FOOTBALL. This makes the game about a thousand times cooler. And I want to be a part of it. I've been doing my research and learning everything I can, with the hopes that next year I can join a league.

Last night was probably my one and only opportunity for a chance to get in Jim's league. I need to be voted in to this all boys club. So I wrote a letter...under Jims name on the message board.

Here it is...

A message from Jim’s girlfriend-

Yeah I know you're surprised he even has one. I wake up every morning thinking WHAT THE FUCK!

First off let me start off by addressing Jim. You are an idiot for leaving this up on my computer. I looked through your message board. So you got your dick wet in New Jersey? That’s news to me. You think you’d impress all your friends by acting like you get laid. What a joke. You’re lucky I didn’t go ahead and change your lineup.  Let it be known I’m still considering it. 

If you guys think you want to see Jim lose, imagine how much I’d like to see him lose. I’m sure you’d all like to see Joe Howe lose too. And he should. Someone that drops a keeper like Demarco Murray on “accident” deserves to lose. I can also imagine it must suck pretty bad to have some dudes in your league that don’t even try (Lam and Ron).  It’s no wonder Lam won’t agree to a better payout.  There are only two things that seem fun about this fantasy thing and that’s talking shit and potentially winning money.

Let me get down to business. I want in this league next year. I’d vote for a bigger payout.  And if you want some real shit on Jim, I willing to give that up. Plus, if you let a girl in this league it may just be the closest you get to being straight while playing fantasy football in years. 

What I don’t possess in football knowledge, I make up for in the one thing I’m assuming the majority of you haven’t seen since you were born, a vagina. Vote me in the league.

Sincerely, Cat

And now I wait...for the vote. 

Wish me luck.